Amanda (dementedscreams) wrote,
Amanda
dementedscreams

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Well it's getting closer to my last semester of school. Not quite there yet but pretty close. I have been having a really hard time paying the bills. Mostly because this duplex is so damn expensive. $700 a month! I had to borrow money from my grandma again. My dad hinting about me getting another apartment by saying, "Do you think you'll be in the same place by then." (referring to Aiden attending Bolin school next year.)
I really want to be here then. I don't want to move again until I am buying a house really. I noticed accumulated dusk on my mirror the other day and smiled because I had been in a place long enough to collect that must dust on something :)

Kyle said that he is coming back. That makes me so happy but sad because it will be a few months at least before he is able to come up with enough money to fly him and his belongings all the way back here. I wrote him an email telling him all of my doubts and worries and plans. I also told him that Aiden and I cannot stand to lose another male figure in our lives.
He wrote me back every comforting word I needed to here plus some. He included that he is more than willing to be a daddy figure for Aiden, felt he already was doing that some, and said, "You know I love Aiden too."
How can it get any better than that right?

This will be the fourth serious relationship I have given a go. Looking back at the others I can see what was wrong and laugh at some of it because I can't believe I was so stupid. I guess that's what growing up is all about. Now I wonder, will I have to look back at this relationship and think, "How could I have been so stupid?"

I know I am at the age where my main focus is a relationship. Thinking about a wedding, buying a house and all that "dreamy" stuff. Truth is, it's not all about the love part. It's more about the fact that life is hard to live on your own. To take care of everything yourself. A house, bills, children, pets, cars. I have to clean out the garage today so that I can park in it for the winter. The things that are in the garage are going to have to go to the basement. Which means I will then have to clean the basement and while I am down there I need to do laundry so that I there are clothes for the start of the week. It would be so much nicer to have Kyle here with me to help out. To work as a team. We do that really well. He is really good at getting things done and so am I as long as I have someone to cheer me on along the way.

Well on that note. I'm off to clean the garage. It's really really cold outside 37 degrees F
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